Tuesday, February 20, 2024

when hopes and goals and...fail, how to LIVE

I have never been satisfied with the usual, the superficial, even the partial good, not even brief moments of the best, but have always yearned for the unseen deep, the transcendent--
have been an idealist, an individual who always seeks beyond this current tragic mess to the wondrous,
the sublime,
the essential--
to God,
True Ultimate Reality.

And as I share below, only a few wondrous times, I have been overwhelmed me with its Presence far beyond my wildest hopes, ideals and dreams.

HOWEVER,
as already said,
so much of my life has been lived and continually needs to be lived in
(and I suppose most other people's lives) the humdrum,
the routine,
the repetitious,
the mediocre,
the dull,
the boring --yes, the drudgery and sludge of the average day.

And now after a severe stroke of bad luck in the spine, I am mostly confined to the lonely rooms of our house, often not even capable of walker-hobbling out to the mail box.
Even on a day or so a week, when I am doing a bit better, and walker-out, seldom are there any neighbors out and
about.
Not since COVID does anyone hang out talking, while their kids bike and play around the cul-de-sac, etc.
Yet I long for, like the Jewish Psalmist says, deeply thirst for the wondrous and the true and the good and the
caring.

Recently, I came across an insight that helped me in my daily quandary; changed my thoughts of communion with the Transcendent, since so often I am disappointed with how shallow, even dry, my experiences seem on any given day or night, especially on days taken up with the hectic or the tragic.

When the spiritual insight reached me in the deepest place, the vital truth came anew--
friendship with the Light is MORAL ACTION!
not primarily feeling
or experience.
(And not 'creedal' beliefs
like most humans think).

WHAT COUNTS ISN'T memory, desire, hope--BUT DOING in each moment the morally right act.

Since I am an artist though through and through (one huge nerve ending;-),
this focus is difficult.
I want to feel, feel, feel...
Even a speculative-sci-fi novel by me was titled, The Feeling of the Earth.

And I do hope to experience God again and again, but for now I know more deeply what most counts is TO ACT
for the ideal,
for the true,
for the transcendent.

That's Truth come down.


HOPEFULLY, we will sometimes also experience the Infinite-Transcendent to an overwhelming degree--

one incredible time I did--

Outside the Limit

Working the thursday graveyard shift
At 7-11, I stock cold shelves of 'cours'
Then write a college essay on dreiser
Of how all is thin surface, all negation;

But alert in the night, I muse in the stillness
While beyond the glass, the parking lot lies
Vacant, lit by the neon signs and street lights--
When so unexpected my mind transports.

I rise outside of self, see far beyondness,
Perceive myself sitting between the rows,
Observe the little ego in the skin and skull
My bodied self sitting with the staid cans and jars.

But now awash drowned in awe, in the Personal
Luminousness aware beyond words vivid bliss
Blessed all encompassing exalting surpassing
Transcendent Deep Presence.



First pub. in Flutter Poetry Journal


May you find the LIGHT in your daily giving actions and at least once in an overwhelming Sublime experience.

In the Light,

Dan


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