Ecclesiastes 1:2 "Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless." (NIV version) and Ecclesiastes 1:14, 17-18 I have seen all the works which have been done under the sun, and behold, all is futility and striving after the wind...to know wisdom...is also striving after the wind. Because in much wisdom there is much grief, and increasing knowledge, increasing pain.
Rather totally pessimistic about everything, isn't the Speaker?
But there is some superficial truth, I suppose to his nihilism. When I was a young Christian fundamentalist growing up in a small village in Nebraska--before I had gone to several universities, read extensively, suffered tragedy, lived in various places in the world, met humans with totally contrary worldviews, etc.--I didn't understand this hopeless wail.
I thought I understood life and God and the world. However, I was ensconced in much illusion and some delusion, though I didn't know it.
So I was happy and productive and filled with hopes and dreams. Aren't most kids, before the harsh realities of life wear us down?
But even after some very tough times, I still wouldn't have identified with the Speaker's utter feeling of futility, because I had a secure foundation in my faith in Christ.
My faith in God gave me a deep spiritual life. Thank God, I didn't live on the surface of life chasing after this world's glitter or, worse, its glut.
But then tragedies came...
And the worst one of all is when I discovered at 17 years of age that most Christian leaders for 1,700 years (beginning with Augustine) had claimed that God doesn't love most people, that infants are "in essence, evil," etc.
I battled against this horrific version of Christianity for most 50 years, until I finally realized to my deepest self that Christianity can't be true, that the Good News version I heard as a kid and young teen was a delusionary aberration.
Well, you get the point...
And now at 62, after doing spiritual battle against Augustinian-Reformed theology, and for so many years against inner failings and testings, and destructive worldviews, trying to help others caught in confusion and dysfunction and sin, and grieving over unanswered prayers, and experiencing deep heartache, I, too, understand what the Speaker means when he finds even wisdom to be a striving after the wind.
And what do we do, when even more and more modern Quakers are supporting Augustinian-Reformed thinkers or at the opposite extreme, claiming that there is no Ultimate Meaning or Purpose to existence?
Why do so many leading Christians now and in the past adamantly support theological determinism which claims the vast majority of us humans are preordained to eternal torment/damnation?
And why are so many modern Friends, exactly contrary, denying that God even exists?
It's so much like the horrific wall in Herman Melville's conundrummed short story, "Bartleby."
And then there are the everyday heartaches, trials, and tribulations...
And when a certain political figure, President Barrack Obama, is elected on the theme of hope, but then reverses many of his solemn pledges and ideals.
And when the natural world heaves, and the striving of hurricane winds and drought and disease and more disasters kill millions.
Yet the vast majority of leading Muslim, Christian, and New Age thinkers claim God planned and foreordained all that evil!
Even most Atheists, too, claim that all horrific human choices for slaughter and rape and rapine, and all natural disasters were determined at the moment of the Big Bang!
We humans are only "illusions," "wet robots," "puppets," etc.
So much nihilism in human philosophy.
No doubt, someone will point out that this is the way life has always been--tragic, brief, and short.
And, no doubt, the person is correct. That is why Ecclesiastes came to be written by a Jew living about 250 B.C., because so many of the promises of God in the Torah and the Prophets and in Proverbs and the Psalms hadn't come true.
Where had the Psalmist been hiding that he could claim, "I have been young and now I am old, Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken Or his descendants begging bread (Psalm 37:25)?
So sometimes, like millions of others at present, or in the past, I too drown in the abyss of meaninglessness, plummet for days down into the bottomless pit of despair.
If as the Speaker emphasizes through most of the book, we only have this life, we then are only like a live dog versus billions of dead lions and dead dogs who have gone before us.
Is not this life then a senseless striving after the wind?
An emptiness and meaninglessness like a transient vapor--here and then gone?
This is where Paul's statement in the New Testament shocked contradictorily and was life-saving: "For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain" (Philippians 1:21) until I realized finally that it can't be true.
As I teen, I loved the first part of that verse. Jesus was my ideal, my hero, my best friend.
As for the latter part, I couldn't see Paul's view at all. But now many years later, past innumerable struggles and heartaches, I can see how, for Paul who suffered much, that Heaven did beckon.
But now I realize that there is no afterlife, that religion is mostly delusion.
Thankfully, however, I do hope in God yet--that despite all those tragic details which I briefly explained.
I do hope with all of my brief finite self, that there is Meaning and Purpose in our existence even though we humans don't know what it is beyond seeking to live compassionately and to support human rights and justice...
To seek the Good, the True, the Reasonable, and the Beautiful
in the Light,
Daniel Wilcox
Musings on Ultimate Reality, ethics, religion, social history, literature, media, and art
Showing posts with label Quaker Good News. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Quaker Good News. Show all posts
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Sunday, March 8, 2009
From Hell to Heaven in one morning!
Several weeks ago, I was getting ready to walk into a Christian church to worship. That's when I saw the sign promoting two authors of hard Reformed thinking--
that God has pre-ordained most humans to eternal damnation in Hell,
that Jesus didn't die efficiently for the sins of everyone,
that humans have no choice,
that babies are born evil,
that God plans
and determines all evil
events for his own glory...
I emotionally crashed, mentally gnashing my teeth; my stomach churned and plummeted. What despair!
Not because, I hadn't heard of T.U.L.I.P. before; on the contrary, I had studied American Intellectual History
at Cal State University, read many tomes on the Reformation and Augustinian and Calvinistic theology, etc.
What so shocked and depressed was to find this very bad, actually horrifically obscene, news promoted at my wife's church.
It seems that Reformed theology has taken over many of the large churches in the U.S.
My wife used to be a Quaker too, but she doesn't find unprogrammed worship fulfilling.
She likes songs and a sermon so she goes to an Evangelical church. I go with her often, as well as to the Friends meeting on the Central Coast. In some ways in the past, I got the best of both worlds, especially when I was able to attend both services on the same day.
But then damnation day slammed down hard!
To find that most of the leaders of her church actually hold to the view that most humans are predestined to Hell, that every infant is born evil...
It still grieves me right now as I write this. Where is the Good News?
If such Christianity is true, then there is no hope.
All evil and all destruction and all sorrow and all tragedy been determined way before the beginning of time.
BUT
Later that morning when I attended worship at Central Coast Friends meeting, in the silence I cried out to God.
Anguish tearing me apart, thinking of dear loved ones lost in wrong without hope according to these Christian leaders.
Countless millions of humans, children, youth, adults--most without hope.
But then out of the worshipfulness of the expectant waiting in our meeting, a woman stood and began to sing acappella with a fervency of joy and empathy
a wondrous song of communion.
She knew nothing of my travail and of my 'morning' in theological Hell or my endless despair.
But her hymn ministered deeply to me especially.
She sang the words of love and hope and good news and worship
and slowly the abyss of two hours before at the other church disappeared.
And Heaven came down into our midst
(to quote from an old hymn).
Thank God for Friends worship and the Good News of Spirit-led individuals from George Fox to Thomas Kelly to the woman who sang, and beyond.
In the Light,
Daniel Wilcox
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