Monday, April 1, 2019


Yes, if you guessed, that is a twist of Roger Williams’ book against George Fox with the usual sort of 17th century jabberwock'd, long-winded odd title with alternative title, the usual 'tittle and jot' of unfriendly, theologically controversial religious argumentative pamphlets.

I do this in honour of the first day of April, to jog modern minds, and be excused for quackery punctionariness, today and not one jot or 'title' more.

But let me not jattle or jabber on (or slobber)...

So burrowing into the past...

Who was Burrough and why did Williams state he was going to get the first Quaker, George Fox foundering?

BURROUGH, EDWARD (1634–1663), Burrough, among the earliest Friends, wrote and street-spoke against notions of false Christian denominations. " a lad he was dissatisfied with the religious teaching of the Anglican church, and restlessly tried all the various forms...He decided to become a Friend, and, although only seventeen, offered himself as a minister, and was accepted. On account of this step he was disowned by his family, who declined his offer to remain with them as a hired servant. Burrough at once began to travel as a quaker minister...In 1653 he was imprisoned..."

Let's Lighten up...

On to that fox hunt...

Why did Roger Williams claim that he was going to dig Fox out of his Burrough?

Because, contrary to Quaker witness, Williams said that in Quakerism there is darkness, no inner light.

Why did George Fox marry Margret?

Margaret Fell for him.

Did you see the dog kennel in Quakertown, Pennsylvania?

The large sign outside proclaims, “There is that of dog in everyone.”

Hear of the Quaker store manager who refused to sell liquor, at least he said, not until he was in the spirits.

Instead, he sold tea—and sold so much of that he loved, totaling up his earnings!

Because you see, he was a ‘tea-totaler.’

Why do Friends still focus on over 365 years ago?

Because they are still sitting waiting for spiritual agreement!

And they keep splitting 'heirs' over various points
Like in the cases of Northwest, Indiana, North Carolina Yearly Meeting breakdowns
which cause them to do the splits and perform twisting 'gymnastical' unfriendly actions.

Why did Friends insist on wearing their hats?

They had a hatful attitude toward false, hypocritical religious and social customs.

Why are Friends like earth disasters?

Because they quake when found to be at fault by bad judges.

Why were Quakers considered strong?

Because on their Nantucket Island ships there were plenty of mussels.

Why do American Friends quake in embarrassment?

Because their most famous Quaker was Richard Nixon.

and other oldies...

"If you don't listen to or play gangsta rap or hip hop, what music do you Friends listen to, then?' asked a teen, tapping time to his I-Pod."

A humorous student from Friends School in North Carolina said, “Oh, Quake and Roll, Quaky Tonk, Quakeabilly, Quakem and Blues,
Group Rapt.”

"Stupid! But I get yer lame jokes, even 'rapt' for 'rap,' except what does group'rapt' have to do with Quakers?"

"You need to visit Quaker meeting, and read The Journal of George Fox or John Woolman and listen to the spiritual songs of Jon Watts! We're talking spiritual rapture, man."

"Like the dictionary says, 'transported by spiritual feeling'."

Did you hear the one about the Quaker who raised ducks but didn’t like how they kept saying “Quack, quack.”

So he gave them crackers each time he got them to stop saying “quack, quack.” But then they started padding about his yard squawking, “Quacker, Quacker!”

Finally, he switched to feeding them with oats but wouldn't you know it, they squawked, “Quacker Oats!”

Heard about the Oregonian Quaker who didn't go to meeting for worship after all, but instead--hurrying through heavy fog--prayed before he walked into a bar on the way home?

He hadn't even had any spirits yet, but sure got a headache from that bar.

A man asked, "Why don't Friends take communion?"

The young adult Friend doing the welcoming, responded, "Well, see, since our coming into existence during the religious English Civil War in about 1646, we've felt it best to stay away from all theological 'feud.'"

A little confused, the middle-aged visitor stared blankly until his wife poked him and he, suddenly, got the double meaning and grinned.

Continuing, the Quaker said, "Just kidding. George Fox, when he had his mystical vision...came to realize holy communion is a group inward spiritual experience, not an outward supernatural ritual. God is within us, not in bread and wine."

"Hmm..." the visitor responded, "no vestments, no priest, no Eucharist? As an economist by career, I would say that's putting a lot of 'investment' into a bunch of people sitting silently, waiting for spiritual insight.

What 'prophet' is there in that? Are you sure this George Fox knew what he was talking about? Rejecting 1,500 years of church doctrine?"

The Quaker answered, "We Friends hope so. Many rituals have 'mass' appeal, but that doesn't mean they are good food or spirits."

A Quaker business leader and his wife were visiting old Friends meeting houses in North Carolina. They were from the largest Friends Church in the West, Newport Beach, California Yearly Meeting, an Evangelical branch of the Friends.

He stopped his new BMW on the edge of an old cemetery and a stone Quaker meeting house near the tiny rural settlement of Elias, North Carolina. Then stared with disappointment at the old plain building.

"Look, Margaret, it doesn't even have a cross on top. What a 'hick' site!
It shows what happens when some country Friends adopted liberalism."


An 'Aesop' Quaker

When Margaret heaved
That large rock sideways off
Our docked
of 10,000 lakes,
All those 50ish sky blue-bear-dancing waters,
(Not in Fox's Lake District of England)
Where her paddling retriever
got giant-splashed
Not by that rock...
but her;

Bellowing and shouting,
her father pulled her out from
where Margaret fell
(not Adam's or Eve's because that
is Augustinian jottle)

She got lectured as she shivered
And quaked,
There on the lake pier--
Drenched-soggy wet,
(Her pooch commiserating),
From her
A sopping imbalance



Daniel Wilcox

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