Part #2: Marriage: What Does the Covenant Mean?

Ready for the really bizarre?

Here’s a strange quote from a Christian leader on marriage:

“Let me get right to the point - the making of marriage has nothing to do with love."

"Love does not make two people married. According to the law of His Word, God,
who marries couples, does not marry them based on love.”
From “Marriage: What’s Love Got To Do With It?”
By Edward Ridenour*

Huh? Wait a minute, please…

Has there been anything more off-the-wall wrong than this? Claiming that “making a marriage has nothing to do with love”?*



Sometimes a reflection, meditation, article deeply moves one, invites one into the presence of God, and leads to a transformative change in my life,
BUT
such is NOT the case with Ridenour’s article.

Now keep in mind that Ridenour may be partially playing “gotcha,” using a hook attention-grabber, because later he does qualify his bizarre, untrue words: “Love that labors and is sacrificial is true marital love in its best form, and is "agape" (Godlike).
When a man and a woman come together and make a marriage, their underlying principle for making that marriage should not be for their own self-satisfaction, but to serve one another and God in that union, exemplify His love, and build His Kingdom. This is true love.”

Definitely yes and no.

It is true that much of what passes for “love” in modern society has little to do with love in the transcendent/compassionate/ultimate ethical sense.

But it is also true that much of what passes for “love” and “marriage” in Scripture, Christian history, and modern religious groups has little to do with love either.

If in doubt spend a couple of days researching “marriage” as practiced in parts of the Bible and in church history.

It’s enough to make any spiritual individual puke and wretch—just as Jesus is said to do with the false religious ways of so many humans (Revelation 3: 1-22)

For years now—at least 21 of them—I’ve been seeking clarification and insight on the meaning of the word and act called “marriage.”
But even after attending and participating in many weddings, after reading a tome of books, endless essays and biblical studies,
and spending a lot of time in prayer and reflection, I still am confused/uncertain/grieved--
seeking further clarification from the Light of God before I speak my mind with strong conviction.

So, if all that is true, why am I sticking out my neck now to have it chopped off repeatedly by all the opposing guillotines of modern dystopia,
by all the theological fire-breathers of various opposing camps from Indiana Yearly Meeting to the U.S. Supreme Court?

Let’s say, Ridenour made me do it;-)

Not that he’s the devil, but the latter is definitely in the details.

Well, maybe not; maybe in the end the truth of all this is only found in the ideal truths and essences, inherent in the ultimate love of God.

Now there’s an idea—that our finite minds aren’t the ultimate judge of truth, but God who is Love is.

As it says in Ephesians 4: “...walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love...
14 so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.

15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ...” ESV

SO...before we can tackle the vital issue of marriage, what it means and what it doesn’t mean—
and set all the modern ethical jousters correct;-)—
we must first look at the definition of this wily character/characteristic/attribute/behavior/emotion/value/ethic/act called "love"

#1 Define the terms (what philosophers always emphasize so as to avoid semantic chaos like what is happening in modern secular society and religion).

Love:

love (n.)
Old English lufu "love, affection, friendliness," from Proto-Germanic *lubo (cf. Old High German liubi "joy," German Liebe "love;" Old Norse, Old Frisian, Dutch lof; German Lob "praise;" Old Saxon liof, Old Frisian liaf, Dutch lief, Old High German liob, German lieb, Gothic liufs "dear, beloved").

The Germanic words are from PIE *leubh- "to care, desire, love" (cf. Latin lubet, later libet "pleases;" Sanskrit lubhyati "desires;" Old Church Slavonic l'ubu "dear, beloved;" Lithuanian liaupse "song of praise").

Meaning "a beloved person" is from early 13c. The sense "no score" (in tennis, etc.) is 1742, from the notion of "playing for love," i.e. "for nothing" (1670s). Phrase for love or money "for anything" is attested from 1580s. Love seat is from 1904. Love-letter is attested from mid-13c.; love-song from early 14c.
To fall in love is attested from early 15c. To be in love with (someone) is from c.1500. To make love is from 1570s in the sense "pay amorous attention to;" as a euphemism for "have sex," it is attested from c.1950.
Love life "one's collective amorous activities" is from 1919, originally a term in psychological jargon. Love affair is from 1590s. The phrase no love lost (between two people) is ambiguous and was used 17c. in reference to two who love each other well (c.1640) as well as two who have no love for each other (1620s).

love (v.)
Old English lufian "to love, cherish, show love to; delight in, approve," from Proto-Germanic *lubojan (cf. Old High German lubon, German lieben), from root of love (n.). Related: Loved; loving. Adjective Love-hate "ambivalent" is from 1937, originally a term in psychological jargon.
Online Etymology Dictionary


To Be Continued--

In the Light,

Daniel Wilcox


*Part 1 was published as “The Twisting…” April 2, 2013

* Well, maybe the twisting of God’s character and essence by modern Christian leaders who claim God is self-centered, that everything he does is for his own glory! How sick and totally wrong, as any reading of the NT will show. Try 1 John first.

* http://blogs.christianpost.com/marriage/marriage-whats-love-got-to-do-with-it-151/

New Song Adaption--"Jesus Doesn't Love Us, This We Know..."

"Jesus doesn’t love us! This we know,
For the Bible tells us, no.
Little ones by Him reprobated long
They are damned, by Him so wrong.

Yes, Jesus doesn’t love us
The Bible tells us, no.

Jesus doesn’t love us! This we know,
As he ordained so long ago,
Forsaking children by His decree
Saying, “Let them be damned , see.

Jesus doesn’t love us. He who died
Heaven’s gate to close aside;
He won’t wash away our sin,
Let limited children come in…"

*Famous children’s song
according to John Calvin, A.W. Pink, etc.,
the bad news of Calvinism’s poison T.U.L.I.P.

*“I again ask how it is that the fall of Adam involves so many nations with their infant children in eternal death without remedy unless that it so seemed meet to God? …because he had so ordained by his decree. John Calvin (Institutes of the Christian Religion Book 3, Sec. 23, 7)

* “Those, therefore, whom God passes by he reprobates, and that for no other cause but because he is pleased to exclude them from the inheritance which he predestines to his children.” John Calvin (Institutes of the Christian Religion 3:23:1)

*"The reprobate like the elect are appointed to be so by the secret counsel of God's will" (Calvin's Institutes III, xxii, Page 11) and " . . .their doom was fixed from all eternity and nothing in them could transfer them to the contrary class..." John Calvin(Institutes of the Christian Religion III, iii, Page 4)

*"We call predestination God's eternal decree, by which he compacted with himself what he willed to become of each man. For all are not created in equal condition; rather, eternal life is fore-ordained for some, eternal damnation for others." John Calvin (Bk 3, ch 21, s. 5)

*"One of the reasons that God makes human babies small is so they won’t kill their parents in their sleep.
They’re evil."
Calvinist preacher Voddie Baucham

*The Puritan Michael Wigglesworth in his infamous poem “The Day of Doom” says God sends infants to the least worst part of Hell.
Weird and despairing:-(

Versus


GOOD NEWS:-)

"Jesus loves me! This I know,
For the Bible tells me so;
Little ones to Him belong;
They are weak, but He is strong.

Refrain:
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!

The Bible tells me so.
Jesus loves me! This I know,
As He loved so long ago,
Taking children on His knee,
Saying, “Let them come to Me.”

Jesus loves me still today,
Walking with me on my way,
Wanting as a friend to give
Light and love to all who live.

Jesus loves me! He who died
Heaven’s gate to open wide;
He will wash away my sin,
Let His little child come in.

Jesus loves me! He will stay
Close beside me all the way;
Thou hast bled and died for me,
I will henceforth live for Thee."

By Anna B. Warner

And ALL grandchildren,
especially our two little grand children who are so dear to our heart, ALL loved by God.

In the Light,

Daniel Wilcox

Light and Love

Reflecting backward on my posts of the past few months, I see how much I’ve become preoccupied with fighting against the ocean of darkness and death which drowns much of modern life, especially, and ironically, so much of Christianity which has become “bad news,” rather than the Good News to every single human dearly loved by God.

But I remember there have been many other times in history when evil in church and society got the upper hand such as the 30 Years War, when Christians not only got almost everything wrong theologically but as a result slaughtered each other for 3 decades. At least we’re not there; thank false religion for small favors.

Thankfully, we can instead look to the Living God as revealed by Jesus and listen to words of wisdom from his followers.

And this, I’m going to do…focusing in this meditation on the ocean of Light and Love that flow from God’s Spirit to drench us in hope.

“To pray…means to think and live in the presence of God…Thus prayer asks us to break out of our monologue with ourselves and to follow Jesus by turning our lives into an unceasing conversation with our heavenly Father…in the simple trust that through his love all will be made new.

The Father’s love does not force itself on the beloved. Although he wants to heal us of all our inner darkness, we are still free to make our own choice to stay in the darkness or to step into the light of God’s love. God is there. God’s light is there. God’s forgiveness is there. God’s boundless love is there. What is so clear is that God is always there, always ready to give and forgive, absolutely independent of our response. God’s love does not depend on our repentance or our inner or outer changes.”

Henri Nouwen

“That we can experience this Divine Presence…that changes and transforms everything in life--this is Friends' main message to the world….So the most important…can in fact be accomplished now--not in some indefinite point in the (uncertain) future. That is to say "yes" to God's Divine presence in my life.

Having once discovered this wonderful secret, this new dimension of life, we don't live any longer simply in time, we also live in Eternity. The temporal world is no longer the only reality we're aware of. A new Reality arises that enlivens and excites us, that moves us toward action, fills us with energy, breaks into our souls and with love embraces us--along with all those who find themselves in the Presence.”

Johan Maurer


“7Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.

13By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world.

15Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.”

I John 4:7-16 ESV


In the Light,

Daniel Wilcox

The Twisting of Social, Religious, Political, and Sexual Discourse

The biblical leader so much admired by Jews, Christians, and Muslims--David murdered/slaughtered/killed and mutilated 200 men in order to gain (buy) a woman in marriage who he didn't love, for his own political advancement.

So much for Godly love as spoken of in Genesis.

Scripture speaks nothing of David’s caring for her (even though it does say the woman, Michal, loved him and that she protected him from her father). But because of danger, David abandons Michal, and then takes many other women in marriage (polygamy).

Later, David captures Michal back, stealing her from her lawful second husband.

But when she criticizes him, David gets revenge by shunning her for the rest of her life, leaving her childless, while he spends all of his time with his other wives and concubines (I Samuel 18: 17-30; 19: 11-18; 25: 39-42; 25: 43-44; 2 Samuel 6: 20-23 ESV.

So much for the holy institution of marriage 3,000 years ago in the Bible!

Yet Christian conservatives now are claiming that marriage has been a hallowed institution for many centuries. What historical tome have they been studying?

Any academic historian can show the institution of marriage in many past centuries seldom had anything to do with Godly standards. Instead marriage often oppressed and, even, abused women. Usually, in the aristocratic strata of society, marriage was for politics, money, and power. If in doubt read any scholarly book on the aristocrats and their marriages of the last one thousand years in Europe.

So much for marriage being a sacred and holy institution…

Yet modern secularists get blamed for distorting and destroying marriage by trying to change it.

So much for media distortion and Christian hypocrisy…

The God of the universe (as described by Jesus) has nothing to do with such a historically corrupt, insincere, and manipulative institution, other than in the sense of God first creating the ideal relationship of communion and fellowship at the start of the human race—which humans have consistently distorted through sexism, greed, and pride.

Indeed, Jesus emphasized 2,000 years ago how humans, especially religious people, are the ones who corrupt and destroy marriage!

Strangely and most ironically, the Christian conservative movement which claims marriage is a sacred institution that modern secularists are trying to destroy, has it itself a high divorce rate equal to non-Christians—33%!

So much for the sacred institution of marriage being changed by modern secularists…

Furthermore, one of the leading Christian presidential candidates who condemned “gay marriage” has been married three times. So much for the holiness and unbrokenness of marriage…

This Christian leader divorced his first wife when she was seriously ill because he had begun an adulterous affair with another woman, then later he began a second affair and divorced this second wife of adultery, to marry a third, etc.

What about Jesus’ condemnation of divorce and the Hebrew Bible’s declaration that God hates divorce?

Were Jesus walking in the halls of Congress and the churches across the U.S. no doubt he would say to the religious conservative leaders:

“Hypocrites, blind guides…” (Matthew 23).

Only when Christians first live loving, pure, and sacred lives with their spouses in life-long marriage, only then they may they speak to others about the sacrament of marriage.

What might they say in love and truth and humbleness?

To be continued,

In the Light,

Daniel Wilcox

Part #2: Good Friday?

How could the murder of the Son of God by legal authorities and religious leaders be “good”?!

In the evil act itself, certainly not.

But rather the “good” comes from the Christian vision that God is love, and that in his loving providence God can bring good out of even the worst evil acts of humans. And what could be worse than the political execution of the Son of God by one of the supposedly greatest civilizations of humankind and by the leaders of a religious group chosen by God to serve him in order to bless all humans?

In Jesus’ execution, the worst became the best because God used the vile act to show us how even in our worst behavior and most hateful attitude, God still loves us. No matter what. God loves everyone of us, no exceptions. Yes God loves the Taliban, the serial murderer, the self-righteous prig, the rapist, the racist, the child molester, the liar, the self-centered right and left wing politicians, ALL of us, despite our evil actions.

So seemingly impossible for us. But God’s love is infinite, everlasting, never ending… as 1 Corinthians 13 shows, Love is the greatest and deepest and widest characteristic of God.

Jesus, hard as it is to fathom, even forgave the very Roman soldiers who tortured him, and who were now crucifying him and gambling for his clothes.

The terrible evil of humans, God turned to the redemption of all humankind!

It is a vile lie of many religious leaders of the present who claim God only willed a “limited atonement,” that God only loves to save some of us, has foreordained most of us not to be saved, and even worse that God has a secret will wherein God wills every evil act for his own glory.

How morally sick. What an hellish theology:-( Contrast that with John 3:16 “God so loved the world (Greek ‘Cosmos’) and I John 2:2 “He is the propitiation for our sins, and not ours only but also for the sins of the whole world.)

On the contrary, God took this rejection and murder of Jesus, his dear Son, and through his eternal love turned this atrocity into the deliverance of every single human who has ever lived and who will ever live!

Billy Graham preached so movingly in his famous sermon, when he emphasized that Jesus would have suffered and died even if only one human had sinned! That is how great the love of God for everyone, every single one of us. Praise God. Maybe sing “The Love of God” now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fla6EO07I3E

If you have trouble getting your mind around this Christian vision—of how God can turn a legal murder into love for the very Roman soldiers who carried it out and extend that redemption to everyone—consider this very human example from the days of the Civil Rights Movement.

At the 16th Street Baptist Church in September 15, 1963 “…twenty-six children were walking into the basement assembly room to prepare for the sermon entitled “The Love That Forgives,” when the bomb exploded. Four girls, Addie Mae Collins (age 14), Denise McNair (age 11), Carole Robertson (age 14), and Cynthia Wesley (age 14), were killed in the attack, and 22 additional people were injured..."

"The explosion blew a hole in the church's rear wall, destroyed the back steps and all but one stained-glass window, which showed Christ leading a group of little children.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/16th_Street_Baptist_Church_bombing

Martin Luther King Jr. preached their memorial service and said, “These children unoffending, innocent, and beautiful were the victims of one of the most vicious and tragic crimes ever perpetrated against humanity…my friends, they did not die in vain. (Yeah) God still has a way of wringing good out of evil. (Oh yes) And history has proven over and over again that unmerited suffering is redemptive."

"The innocent blood of these little girls may well serve as a redemptive force (Yeah) that will bring new light to this dark city. (Yeah. Mmm) The holy Scripture says, 'A little child shall lead them.'"

Was that “Good Sunday”?

In the sense of evil, NO WAY!

Yet from God’s loving redemptive perspective of opposing and defeating that horrific evil, yes.

King explains in his sermon how God can bring good out of even the murder of four young teens, how God seeks to redeem even the worst white racists despite, and yet through their horrendous murders.

And many racists in the United States were redeemed from their sin and self-righteousness, when they repented and turned to God in Christ.

So, yes, strangely that evil church bombing, that tragic Sunday was turned to “good.”

Now write that large for the Son of God’s murder, and how that evil act has been turned by the love of God for every one of us into Good News.

Amen—Let it be so.

To be continued--But what about the Nazi Holocaust?

Daniel Wilcox

Good Friday?

Isn’t that like saying Good Assassination?

Good Murder?

Good Holocaust?!

Yes. This is so as the Jewish writer and Holocaust-survivor Elie Wiesel so powerfully and cogently demonstrates in one excruciating story in his memoir of the Holocaust—Night.*


How can there be good-evil?

Yes what an oxymoron.

What a contradiction and ethical absurdity where human grieving never ceases.

At first, all of this may seem like past history. Most people know about the Shoah (Holocaust). And many probably have heard of "Good Friday" since it still occurs on calendars. But nowadays most people put little focus on history unless forced to do so, and most work or study or spring-break party right through “Good Friday,” unless they are devoutly liturgical in their religion.

Years ago back in the 1950’s in the Midwest, all religious people commemorated the special Friday, and many attended very long services. I remember as kid sitting through 3-4 hour services where 4-5 ministers took turns preaching on and on. But that was then, this is now.

Looking back on that yearly event now seems very strange: how those religious leaders taught us about the torture and execution of a Jewish leader by the Romans 2000 years ago and why it was vitally important to us, even elementary children.

Even more baffling—at least to everyone not convinced of the Christian faith—is why speak to the general populace in the present of such a capital punishment by ancient governing authorities so long ago? And why claim this execution has anything, indeed everything, to do with humans today?

Last and most incomprehensible of all, why claim that this execution is “good”?!

How can moral evil, especially when conducted by civilization’s leaders ever be considered “good”?

How as human beings can we ever deal with moral atrocities—so many horrendous massacres throughout blood-gushed/disgusting history?

This is the beginning of the philosophical and ethical question that Elie Wiesel asked in his book Night, speaking of the murder of so many by the Nazi death camps including his father, mother, and sister:

“Never shall I forget those flames which consumed my faith forever. Never shall I forget that nocturnal silence which deprived me, for all eternity, of the desire to live. Never shall I forget those moments which murdered my God and my soul and turned my dreams to dust. Never shall I forget these things, even if I am condemned to live as long as God Himself. Never.”

Then Wiesel tells the story of a young boy executed by the Nazis:
"The three victims mounted together onto the chairs. The three necks were placed at the same moment within the nooses. ‘Long live Liberty!’ cried the adults. But the child was silent.

"'Where is God? Where is He?’ someone behind me asked. At a sign from the head of the camp, the three chairs tipped over. Total silence throughout the camp. On the horizon, the sun was setting.

"'Bare your heads!' yelled the head of the camp. His voice was raucous. We were weeping. ‘Cover your heads!’ Then the march past began. The two adults were no longer alive. Their tongues hung swollen, blue tinged. But the third rope was still moving; being so light, the child was still alive..."

"For more than half an hour he stayed there, struggling between life and death, dying in slow agony under our eyes. And we had to look him full in the face. He was still alive when I passed in front of him. His tongue was still red, his eyes not yet glazed."

"Behind me, I heard the same man asking: ‘Where is God now?’ And I heard a voice within me answer him: ‘Where is He? Here He is — He is hanging here on this gallows'"

"Where is God? Where is He?"

And I heard a voice within me answer him: "Where is He? Here He is — He is hanging here on this gallows..."


To be continued

In the Light,

Daniel Wilcox

Historical Judgments: Part 3

#2 When encouraged to do your duty, to honor and support a war by the government...when elected officials beat the fervent drum of necessity...when the general populace becomes excited by war fever/fervor or are scared into genuine fear by the powers that be,
then STOP!

Step away from the emotional political juggernaut. Take time to be holy, passionate,and prayerful, seeking God's guidance in the witness of Jesus the Messiah, the Chosen One, the leader who said to love your enemies(in his case, the Roman soldiers who tortured and crucified him)!

Glance backward to the First Gulf War, August 2, 1990. There was no question that the leader of Iraq, Saddam Hussein was an evil dictator. Even many Arabs thought so, only the most biased not.

However, the fever pitch for war, the excitement slew a whole nation, ours--the United States. Very few Americans stood up against this irrational nationalism.

Picture this large gym at Perris High School filled with staff and students and classified help--everyone was there. Our school's cheer leaders sang and shouted and pranced, "We're NUMBER #1! We're NUMBER #1!" But this wasn't a huge rally for our football team to win in a game against our cross county rivals.

No! This wasn't a sports pep rally, but rather a political, nationalistic drumming for war! At the time I was teaching high school literature and writing. I admit I, too, felt judgment against Iraq, I, too, experienced the fever of war excitement, but was totally shocked when young, fairly innocent, high school cheerleaders and a couple of thousand individuals gloried in war, while our hundreds of bombs 'reigned down' on many, many Iraqis.

I suppose theoretically I could have understood the United States taking out Saddam Hussein--a murderer if there ever was one (though Jesus died for him too). Those who take the sword shall die by the sword. That's in Bible--when humans choose violence--to violate others, they will eventually reap what they have sown.

But for American adults, teachers no less, to encourage so many teens to turn a war into a game and a rally, how tragic, how absurd. Where was the ol' soldier Vonnegut when we needed him?

Right then, while all around me hundreds of Americans were filled with zest and loud happy singing, thousands of human beings in Iraq were being turned into charred things, what American soldiers called "crispies." How morally sick.

And no doubt thousands of high schools across our nation were having similar patriotic rallies.
Yet God loves every Iraqi as much as God does Americans. In fact, think of the great slogan--"God bless the whole world, no exceptions!" Many Iraqis were no more evil than many Americans.

Yet our high school, our city, was turning their annihilation via "shock and awe" weapons into a sport! What a travesty of Life and Truth.

How hellish. That day when it comes back to mind still gives me spiritual guilt and shame. At the time, I got a deep inner nudge to go out onto the gym floor and speak truth from the God of all compassion to all these misguided humans.

But I kept resisting the motion of the Spirit of God. I was chicken, and besides, what might happen to my teaching position/contract if I stood up and opposed this rally, even if I spoke in a gentle tone?

Finally, several days later, one of our teaching staff called a meeting for adults to speak up about the war, but only 3 or 4 teachers showed up. Even "liberal" teachers supported the war (another repeat of so many hundreds of wars in the past: no nation that goes to war ever thinks it is in the wrong).

Hope to God that next time Americans are faced with this, they will stop, step back, and think again, and pray.

Nope. Didn't happen. But instead the next time, the United States was the first-strike aggressor...

Hopefully, some day we will learn to make wise historical decisions when the drums of war are thundered and nations let lose the vicious dogs of war in the name of God, truth, and justice.

That's an historical judgment.

Let's turn from the gods of war to the Prince of Peace.

In the Light,

Daniel Wilcox